I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
