some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Its about making memories worth repressing
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
