Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
