Betty ford says i'm here all night
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I checked into jail on foursquare
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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