david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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