I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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