Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
