well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
