I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize