I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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