this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
