I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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