K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
