the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
