Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
