I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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