Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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