DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm both gender and math confused
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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