My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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