At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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