i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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