u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
