No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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