i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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