She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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