found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
