fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
