Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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