So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
