My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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