just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
