I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Can I color on your dick again?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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