about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
