He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
