I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
tonight lets celebrate not being married
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
