so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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