wakey wakey hands off snakey
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You made out with two different species that night
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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