Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
