can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
