fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
