Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize