Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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