i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she peed on how many people?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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