PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well I just put wine in my tea
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize