I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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