Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I love you. Go after that dick
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize