I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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