Who did Billy Mays play for?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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