Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
