i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
