Define "chronic" masturbator.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
