One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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