i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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