1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
