goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
