I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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