I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
