obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
