I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
