is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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