Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
