So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
