It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize