Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
